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Today on NBC Nightly News, there were floods in Wisconsin and Indiana, California is on fire, Washington gets a foot of snow, New York is boiling in recording setting heat, and Florida has water spouts(tornadoes). It's obvious that global climate change doesn't exist and the melting ice caps are just a cycle and I should just be fat and drive my Hummer to check the mail because I'm a huge tard(short for tub of lard).

Not to mention China and Burma still recovering from earthquake disasters, a water shortage in California, gas costing $4.00 a gal, tomatoes have salmonella, people are getting laid off from their jobs and overfishing is bringing sharks(the only animal immune to cancer therefore a potential cure) to extinction. It is official, the world is coming to an end. All we need now is an asteroid threat or a viral epidemic.